How to survive 8th block: your very own end-of-year survival guide

As 7th block comes to a staggering close, only several weeks stand in the way of a much-needed summer or alternatively and less fortunately, summer school. After seven grueling classes of unadulterated alternative learning, it is easy to succumb to stress and completely fall apart. Whether you are wracking your brain trying to figure out post-graduate plans or just don’t care about that science class anymore, the tormenting nature of Colorado College will get to you no matter what. Although 8th block is generally debaucherous and charged with summer energy, it is easy to lose track of what’s important. If there are two things that can help you maintain some level of sanity during your last class, it’s beer and food.

Getting Booze When You Need It

1. Jack Quinn’s, located at 21 S. Tejon St., has a running deal every Wednesday on bombs and wings for those of us of the drinking persuasion. For four dollars, a waitress will bring you a shot of Bailey’s Irish Cream dropped into a half glass of Irish Stout or a relatively large plate of chicken wings. Wednesday is a grueling day and with so many celebratory events scheduled for 8th block weekends, an Irish Car Bomb may be just what the doctor ordered. Just make sure that if you attend this boisterous affair you wake up in time for class. (That means you, Lansing!). Deals on bombs and wings starts at 10 p.m.

2. Hunan Springs, located at 24 E. Kiowa St., is your archetypal dirt-grimy Chinese food. MSG hangs in the air like dust; it is not the kind of fine Chinese cuisine that leaves your stomach feeling settled (maybe quite the opposite?) All right, maybe they deserve more credit. Hunan Springs must be the quirkiest Chinese restaurant I have ever been to. Their dishes range from “Spicy,” to “Super Spicy,” and, if you are daring enough, “Super Super Spicy.” They even have Spiderman placemats. And they sell booze! Their mixed drinks are stiff, cheap, and big. What more could you want from cheap Chinese? Best of all, they are now on the Gold Card.

3. Old Chicago, located at 118 N. Tejon St., is a chain that most of us are familiar with. They are student-friendly and have mad deals on beer and food. However, they are the only chain in the area with $2 Tuesdays. Every single beer that they have on draft (a selection of 30!) is $2. That means that getting drunk can be accomplished for something to the tune of 10 bucks. To supplement the high intoxication level, their appetizer menu pizzas are also only $2. Their appetizers are already cheap to begin with so you may as well go for the cheapest. You can also prepare your liver to do battle with bombs at Quinn’s the following evening. $2 Tuesdays start at 6 p.m.

4. Phantom Canyon, located at 2 E. Pikes Peak Ave., boasts a roomy billiard hall separate from the restaurant. In terms of deals on booze, they have some sort of price break almost every night of the week including a happy hour every day from 3-6 p.m. and 10 p.m.-close Sunday through Thursday and free pool every Tuesday night. However, their best deal is College Night, where happy hour lasts from 6 p.m. until closing. $9 Pitchers, $2.50 pints- how could you go wrong?

5. Tall boys on the porch
Inhaling cold mountain air
half-drunk, we write poems.

It would be a crime to not discuss the best activity to share with friends on an 8th block afternoon: consuming tall boys. Weber Liquor, my liquor store of choice, has a wide selection of tall boys to choose from. For $1.40, you can get a cold 24 oz. alcoholic beverage to enjoy on a warm afternoon in the sun. However, as far as alcohol content goes, the best deal at Weber Street Liquor is Crazy Stallion Malt Liquor. For $1.25, you can indulge in a stylishly decorated can of malt liquor, with a 6% ABV. Take it from me – there is nothing better than enjoying the sun, shooting the shit, and drinking tall boys, preferably on a porch.

Getting Sober When You Need To

I should preface this selection of restaurants by saying that Colorado Springs is kind of a pit in terms of finding good food for cheap. After 10 p.m., most restaurants close, leaving only two or three options for late night food. My advice if you want great food all of the time for cheap? Transfer to CU Boulder, and God help your soul.

1. The Omelette Parlor, located at 900 E. Fillmore St., is an ideal reintroduction to the world on a weekend morning. When you are not feeling like a human, load up on bottomless coffee and all sorts of exquisitely greasy food. For $7.50, get the CC Special: French toast, pancakes or waffles, accompanied by of two eggs and breakfast meat. My personal favorite? The Antlers’ Roast. Scrambled eggs, onions, bell peppers, and green pork chili wrapped in a warm tortilla and topped with cheese for $6.50. Yum.

2. Taco Express, located at 1455 S. Nevada Ave., is a black hole in the memories of most people who eat there. It is at least a 30-minute trek (roundtrip) for drive-thru Mexican food. Open 24 hours, Taco Express is far superior to its rival Taco Star. Its menu has close to 100 items on it and everything is completely customizable. The prices never seem fixed, but you can drive away with a huge burrito for under five bucks. Definitely try the horchata – it is worth the two dollars. My go-to burrito: chicken, guacamole, and salsa with refried beans. Just make sure you have a sober driver.

3. Poor Richards, located at 3204 N. Tejon, is not the kind of place to go when you are super drunk. It is also not as cheap as other Springs dining but the food quality is much better. It is also another one of those places that has switched to the Gold Card, and spending your parents’ money covertly is always a plus. They serve beer, wine, delicious pizza and various sandwiches. Plus, their wait staff is cute. I wrote a poem about it once. Anyway, if you are looking for a place to study a bit while drinking a nice beer, I can think of no better place.

4. Smiley’s Bakery and Café, located at 323 N. Tejon St., is another one of those delicious breakfast places, but steers away from the clutches of starch and grease to help you through the morning. Their pastries and baked goods speak for themselves, and their entrees are equally delicious. For example, their breakfast sandwiches are made with house-baked bread, and include breakfast meat, avocado, spinach and eggs of some sort. All of their food is extremely tasty, and you can fill up for under 10 dollars. Their coffee is completely weak, but their food more than makes up for it unless your caffeine addiction is as intense as mine.

5. Sunday Brunch at Kieffer Katz’s house, 807 N. Weber St. Every Sunday, starting at 10 a.m. The breakfast is exuberant and the company is crass if not completely drunk. Email Kieffer at Kieffer.Katz@coloradocollege.edu to make reservations ahead of time. Seriously though, this last spot is reserved for good ol’-fashioned home cookin’. There is honestly nothing better than grabbing some beer, some eggs and whatever else your hung-over ass desires than cooking with friends, listening to good spring music (refer to the last issue of The Catalyst) and gorging yourself on delicious breakfast food.